


Boyd Gearloose and the Funky Town Incident

by selfdestructt



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Gen, ducktales - Freeform, funny funny haha, guy fieri is named guy featheri in the ducktales universe change my mind, gyro is boyd’s dad, me having no idea how to tag this, phooey duck is a commie bastard, this fic is a joke, woo oo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27159871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfdestructt/pseuds/selfdestructt
Summary: Boyd gets stuck only able to sing the Funky Town lyrics and Gyro and Fenton are at a gay bar meaning the kids have to fix Boyd themselves.This entire fic is a joke please don’t come here looking for genuine duck shenanigans. It’s just stupid duck shenanigans i wrote at 3 am.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Boyd Gearloose and the Funky Town Incident

“Gotta make a move to a town that-“  
The small parrot slammed his hands over his beak, and stared at the others with a shocked expression.  
His best friend, Huey, was the first to notice.  
“Boyd? What’s wrong?”

Boyd opened his mouth to speak, and once again,  
“Talk about it, talk abou-“

“Funky town stuck in your head or something?”  
Louie asked, while still playing cards with Lena. 

Boyd shook his head, and didn’t try to talk this time because he knew what would happen. 

“So... Boyd... what’s your favorite color?” Violet asked, who was sitting in the corner reading a book on the supernatural with Webby, and observing the scene. She also genuinely didn’t know, Violet and Boyd weren’t very close, especially compared to the others. 

“Town to keep me movin-“  
tears welled up in his eyes, and he tried to scream, but all that happened was  
“AAAAWon’t you take me to Funky Town!”

Huey pointed accusatory to Dewey, who had been trying to get his Dj Daft Duck helmet off this whole time.  
“This is YOUR fault for asking him to sing Funky Town earlier!” 

Dewey got the leverage to kick the helmet off, promptly slamming him into a wall in the process, as he responded,  
“You’re just blaming me because you don’t have anyone to talk nerd stuff with!” 

Huey ran through the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, but not to much luck.  
“There’s nothing here about your friend getting stuck only being able to say the Funky Town lyrics!”

“Gotta move on, gotta move on, gotta move on.” 

the group winced, as Louie muttered,  
“ohh boy it’s bad, too.” 

“Okay okay, whatever, it’s fine. This is fine! Boyd, We’ll take you back to the lab and Dr Gearloose will fix you and you’ll be able to speak normally again and everything will be fine!” 

Boyd sighed shakily, then, out of nowhere, smacked Violet and stole the book from her.  
“Ow- Hey!” 

He managed to find a marker lying around the room, and began to write 

_He’s out tonight._

Huey nodded, “I’ll get Fenton then!” 

Boyd shook his head then kept writing. 

_Both of them are gone, they didn’t tell me where they were going._

-  
Currently, they were at the only gay bar in Duckberg, having a very intellectual discussion. 

“I’m just saying, how can something be birthday cake flavored if birthday cake can be any flavor??”

“FENTON FOR THE LAST TIME SHUT THE FUCK UP, PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP-“  
-

“Okay.... well... We’ll have to fix you ourselves!” 

“We’re gonna need a bag of rice.” 

Webby beamed and exclaimed,  
“Ooh! We’ll just take him to Funky Town! That’s what the song wants, If we provide it then maybe it’ll go away!” 

“But Funky Town isn’t real-“ 

“That’s where you’re wrong! We can make it real, we can find an artifact that might transport us wherever we want, we can manifest it in a dream, or, my personal favorite, CAUSE A RIFT IN REALITYYY!!”

Webby then threw a random artifact on the floor, smashing it, and opening a portal.  
“Come on, guys! Funky Town awaits!” 

Webby grabbed Boyd’s hand, and jumped into the portal, with Huey and Dewey following. 

Webby gasped upon entering,  
“GUY FEATHERI?!”  
Dewey then jumped on his shoulders and shook them,  
“ARE WE IN FLAVOR TOWN RIGHT NOW?!”

Guy Featheri responded,  
“Hell yeah you are little dude!” 

“THIS IS THE BEST ALTERNATE DIMENSION EVER!” 

Huey held Boyd’s hand, and cleared his throat. 

“Guys! This isn’t where we’re supposed to be! This is about fixing Boyd, remember?!” 

The two didn’t listen to him. They managed to get grocery carts, and as Guy Featheri described various foods, the two idiots raced around the store trying to find them before the other one did. 

Huey sighed, and leaned against a shelf. Boyd gave him a small smile, and he returned it. The duck then picked up a carrot, and began fiddling with it out of boredom and frustration. He turned it around and the carrot was chanting something in Latin. Huey screamed, and threw the carrot on the ground. Boyd smashed it.  
“Talk about it talk about it talk about mooooVIN-!” The two of them screamed, and by screamed we both know what happens when Boyd tries to scream, and began running when they realized the produce all grew faces and were chanting in Latin. 

“DEWEY! WEBBY! THERES SOME SORT OF BLACK ARTS GOING ON HERE! WE NEED TO GET OUT!” 

Huey and Boyd both jumped inside Webby’s shopping cart and began propelling themselves into a wall, with Webby hanging onto it from the back. 

Dewey took it upon himself to do the whip and nae nae, then throw an eggplant at Guy Featheri’s face.  
“Dew-Dew-Deweying it, Yeah!”  
then caught up with the others.  
They found themselves back where they started, back in the mansion, with no remnants of Flavor Town following them.

“That’s it! I’m calling Dr. Gearloose!” 

“No! We can fix him ourselves! We’ve been on tons of adventures! What’s a little glitch gonna do?” 

“ENOUGH!” Louie snapped and gave Boyd his phone.  
“Call your father, please.”  
Boyd nodded and dialed his number, then gave the phone to Louie.  
“Heyyyy Gyro, it’s Louie, we need you here, now. Boyd’s having a malfunction.”

“Fenton Crackshell Cabrera at your service! Gyro’s in time out right now, I have his phone. We’re currently running from the police and AAAAAAA LAUNCHPADS ABOUT TO DRIVE INTO A RAVINE LAUNCHPAD SWERVE!” 

Huey grabbed Louie’s phone, and asked frantically  
“Fenton?! What happened?!” 

“I’ll explain later. He’s sitting in the seat sulking next to me.”

The kids heard Gyro then say in the background,  
“what did you idiots do to my kid?” 

Huey nervously looked around the room, chuckled, then answered,  
“Uhhhh it’s nothing big just- try to be here as soon as you can?” 

Fenton answered,  
“We’re still running from the police, it may be a while. Hopefully my M’ma’s on duty tonight and she won’t destroy us!” 

Louie hung up for them, resulting in Huey saying 

“Hey! I wasn’t done talking to them!” 

“They’re wanted by the law you can talk to the nerds later when they’re not busy!” 

Huey then turned to Lena and sighed.  
“You may be our only hope.”  
Louie shot her a thumbs up,  
“Yep. Miss Magic Pants, you’re golden.”

Lena exhaled shakily, then attempted to use her magic. Boyd began screeching lyrics at unholy levels and pitching a fit, the other kids trying to hold him still so he didn’t run off into the abyss. Lena used all her power, the blue mist pulling something out of Boyd. Almost as if he had a spirit inside of him. Boyd slid to the floor and rubbed his head, as the blue revealed none other than Phooey Duck. 

“PHOOEY?!” The triplets nearly shouted in unison. 

“So it was Lena’s fault for trying to summon Phooey earlier!” 

“Wassup diggety dogs, i was jus trying to get a party going!”

Lena banished him to a far off dimension.  
“Never again.”

“I can... talk? HEY! I CAN TALK! Thank you Lena!” Boyd gave Lena a tight hug as payment for her deeds. 

Almost on cue, the kids heard a crash, and checked out the window to see the limo crashed into the gates as usual. 

Gyro came running into the room, breathing heavily, with Fenton following him, a little less frantic.  
“Where. is. my. boy.”  
Boyd waved, as Gyro picked him up and hugged him.  
“What happened, did they get their slimy fingers on you?” 

“No of course not! Everything’s fine! I had a small malfunction and my friends helped me fix it!” 

Huey then turned to Fenton who was standing in the doorway,  
“Uh, what happened with the whole... being wanted by the law thing..?” 

“Oh, the Beagle Boys did something stupid and the authorities thought they were more menacing than us.” 

“But why were you running from the police in the first place-“ 

“Gyro made Lil Bulb climb up the bartenders pants because he ‘thought it would be a laugh’ and the bartender knocked all the bottles off the shelf and started a fire and Gyro rearranged the bottles and made an infinity maze none of the employees could escape.”

“How-“ 

“Doesn’t matter, we’re banned for life.”

Gyro, still holding Boyd then said to the other kids,  
“I am surprisingly very impressed that you didn’t kill him, but we’ll be heading home.” 

Boyd waved goodbye to his friends, as the three birds left for the limo.  
Just before he began driving, Launchpad turned around and said to the group,  
“How about some music, huh?”  
He turned the radio on. It happened to be playing Funky Town.  
Boyd began screaming.


End file.
